post from a Bad Blogger

I know i have been a bad girl for not writing sooner. AsAs you may know I started a new job, and I have been an out of training. Now i have a ton of work to catch up with. Sorry!

New job and hopefully new life

I start work next week. I am so relieved. I am a bit nervous... you know how it is when you don't know anyone.... you don't know what it will be like. But I am excited. Hopefully things will start to be better ... maybe my light will shine again and I will be able to shake this blasted depression. I wish I could stop taking Zoloft... but some how I turn into a bunch of nerves if I skip just one dose.

At the moment we are visiting dh's aunt in Durban. Its her birthday tomorrow so we decided to spend it with her. Durban is really hot and sticky - precisely why if I were offered a choice I would choose Cape Town any day. Not sure what we are going to be doing today may be shop?

Why do mother in laws always want to butt in where they are not supposed to... like telling dh what to do and what not to do in our relationship. Let me just come right out and say it. Sometimes she is a real B????h!!! It makes me want to scream.

Almost at the end of a chapter

So much has happened in the last month and so much hasn't. The adoption did not.
That is history now. No use crying over spilt milk. I have been for a great job interview two weeks ago and am waiting anxiously to hear if I have been successful or not. I have decided that if it does not materialize I am going to quit job hunting till next year. Fortunately I am not in a situation where my life depends on whether I am employed or not.

Ramadan is almost over we are heading for the 27Th night tonight - its quite momentous spiritually so I will be doing a lot of sincere prayer.

Other than that, my house guests are still here and I am patiently waiting for them to move on.

Patience.

Floating in a sea of mixed emotions

I have no encouraging news to share regarding our prospective adoption. It seems the birth mom has loads of personal issues to sort out. Sad but true, I have to move on.
On the job front nothing new or exciting has come my way as yet, I am trying to remain positive. It seems like I have wasted another year with nothing to show for it.

Dh wants to go on an overseas holiday this December and has tasked me with the job of researching various packages being offered for Thailand or Mauritius. I know he is trying to keep me occupied so that I do not focus on the could haves and should haves but right now I feel very despondent and down.

Putting things in perspective

just when you think everything is going to be alright something happens that shatters all your dreams. The adoption is not going to work out.... the biological father is not going to consent to the adoption. Sigh.
I want my life to be the way it was. Can't stand my territory being invaded anymore. I need the hose guests to get a move on. I want my home to myself now. Do i have a right to say it? Do i have a right to say it? Dh's family need to get their act together.

I need to get on the road again with those darn Montessori assignments again. So much is happening around me... the adoption.... the house guests. ... AAAARGH......